I really, really love to wait. It’s been something that I know other people struggle with, but nothing excites me more than being stuck sitting around waiting.

I love calling my doctor about something very serious and still sitting here three days later with absolutely no call back. It jut makes me feel so important and that my healthcare is in such caring and thoughtful hands.

I love when I’m going through a flare having to go through months of testing and trial medications when both me and my doctor know that none of it is going to work and that I need a more intrusive and extreme treatment to get me back to my normal.

I get such a thrill from having to wait in a doctor’s office every other month waiting to see what torture I’m going to get put through next just so I can keep up my quality of life. And it really thrills me when a doctor is running late and nobody knows how long I’ll be stuck sitting  there waiting for my turn to go back.

I know this is a normal frustration and becomes a very annoying normal for those of us fighting chronic illnesses.

And it is not something that I have learnt to deal with in a very reasonable fashion. I unfortunately have taken this annoyance out on my mom and girlfriend far too many times. And by now they are both aware you don’t touch me or really talk to me much if I’m anywhere near a doctor’s office because I snap very quickly.

But hey, I love waiting. At least that is what I will keep telling myself until I start to believe myself.


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